Friday, December 25, 2009

YOU HAVE GROWN UP - I HAVE GROWN OLDER!

I remember the day I held your arms and swung you round and round. The heavens were watching in amazement - the time had stood still! I had the power in my arms - and you were smitten by this swinging round and round just connected by the joints of our hands. You and your friends came clamouring for more and more. AND THEN ALL OF YOU STARTED SWINGING EACH OTHER - it was something I will never forget. Who was swinging whom, it didn't matter. Everyone wanted to be swung and everyone wanted to swing some one.

It had all started spontaneously. I remember my uncle doing it to me when I was just five years. I remember doing it to my younger sister - and as I grew up I was doing it with my younger students and NOW IT WAS YOU!

AND NOW I HEAR THAT YOU HAVE GROWN UP! You have grown up. And I have grown older. Even if I want to swing you - WOULD YOU LET ME? Or rather, WILL I HAVE THE POWER TO SWING YOU? An act of joy that you and I shared - may not be possible. It is not possible for you NOT TO GROW UP and it is not possible for me not to grow older.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

I KNOW I CAN ACHIEVE ANYTHING! I HAVE A WHOLE LIFE-TIME TO DO IT!

I never knew `NO'. My life has been a YES - YES - YES all the way. Every challenge spurred my `survival instincts' - and I swam all the rivers and climbed all the hills of my life. I tore my skin on thorny bushes - I skidded on stony surfaces and got scars all over - BUT I REACHED! Bruised but victorious! There were short term failures - but they were `short term' - in the end I always achieved what I had set out to.

As I relentlessly strive towards creating an extra-ordinary grass root revolution of sports - there is a continuous battle in my mind - there are physical and mental injuries - the wounds continue to fester - AND I KNOW THIS COULD LAST ME MY WHOLE LIFE! But, I too, am ready - for this mother of all battles has to be won. For I owe this to my mother-land, for not to do would mean losing the very MEANING OF MY LIFE!

As I see mediocrity and unscrupulousness being `rewarded' - as I see honesty being scoffed at - as I see cronies ruling the roost - I KNOW THE BATTLE IS INDEED VERY VERY TOUGH. But I have never known `NO'. I know I can achieve anything. I have a whole life-time to do it.

I HAVE LIED IN SELF-DEFENSE!

I always have lived truthfully. But the world around me refused me this. It wanted to make a liar out of me. So I lied. But I lied in self defense. Now the world calls me A LIAR.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

BREAKING FREE! COME ON GIRLS!

This could be the most controversial piece that I have ever written. But the unique journey of life that I have lived tugs at my very soul - and I must put it to paper, for not doing it would give me enormous pain.

I have loved girls. I always wanted to be a girl - as most boys do! I couldn't live without my mother. As I grew up, I always was playing along with girls - till the gestures of elders and the girls I played with started changing - a subliminal indication that I should play WITH BOYS. In the rains, in which I danced - I often wondered why my younger sister too couldn't - a wedge was created in my soul. I saw the injustice and vowed that when I grew up I would change things.

The girls are supposed to sweep floors, wash the vessels, cook food and maybe iron their brothers' clothes. Times have changed, you may suggest, but there are other forms of `slavery' that continues. Women, too, have been responsible for their own miseries - a mindset has been created. Look at the serials on the TV or the movies - which continue to depict the `girls' like products. The painted faces, gold laden necks and arms - the ultimate `clone' that every one should become. A slavery of a mind-set that sees the `girls' as picture post cards - but take away the cosmetics and it is a story of a `lost soul'.

The refusal to deny the `girls' their humanity has continued unabated. But the denial has not been by `boys' but by `girls' themselves. So for the freedom to come - the girls must `break free'. Every song that my mother sung for me as a lullaby is etched in my memory - she has been my original `girl' till today. Bold, fierce and true to her convictions - married at a young age - she `broke free' in spite of never having had formal education. As I see my sister, managing her family, she too has broken free and I wonder what is it that would take - to see that the `girls' have
the same rights as the `boys'.

I remember the day when C climbed a hill and I knew SHE HAD BROKEN FREE! I remember the day when half of our cricket team was girls and we beat an all boys' team. And the day when an eleven year old spastic S scored her first basket. And the days, when almost all the club's girls climbed hundreds of hillocks around Bangalore. And the day when R - a thirteen year old - scored her match winning three pointer. And the mother of a child who was hurt during climbing telling me `my daughter will become one of the best climbers one day'- and a girl from III standard who beat V standard boys in high jump - and a girl who is with me all day long trying to do the most extra-ordinary job of managing her `grandson' and enjoying it.

GIRLS must get back to being `the better part of humanity' - to break free, they will have to have firmer convictions and focussed goals - and not be merely the recipients of `cloned' mind-sets. It is not enough for them to march along with the boys - it is time to move ahead of them and BREAK FREE! COME ON GIRLS!