INTROSPECTION - FEW WORDS - A LIFETIME'S ESSENCE

TRUTH IS INEVITABLE - YET WE LIE - WE LIE - WE LIE!

TO BE ABLE TO `GIVE'- give correctly - IS AN ABILITY FEW POSSESS.

For the non-living - `living' is an exercise in futility!
For the living - it is `non living'!

The overhead sun doesn't cast a shadow;
An act of greatness doesn't create a doubt.

Every morning I rise from a D E A T H.
Every night I willingly embrace it.

EXHORTATIONS - no matter how powerful
Can't stir F O O L S.

Whenever YOU SEE a problem
KNOW! That your are the cause of it!

The more I wanted - the less I got
The less I wanted - the more I got

LIFE SHORTCHANGES US!
What we EXPECT doesn't happen often enough
What we don't expect - HAPPENS OFTEN.

NURTURING THE NEW GODS AT SUMPOORNA

The eyes stare back - in a perplexed way - do they even understand what I am trying to communicate. They have their small make-believe worlds in which joy & sorrow are easily understood.

What is this `new' thought - why am I trying to instill it in their minds. To awaken their `extreme' potential that would transform them, their families and the nation to which they belong.

All these days - like unsung gods, they have just sufferred & withered. Not any more - I tell them. Their rightful position in the world must be secured by a deep focus of their minds. Liberation and success is not going to come easily - especially when bandicoots rule the roost.

Many new goals would have to be set - a metamorphosis would be needed that would then transform the history of the world itself. Meek shall not inherit the earth - the `seekers' of glory shall and then rule this world with justice. HUMANITY MUST CHANGE - THE NEW GODS ARE BEING NURTURED AT SUMPOORNA!

I SEE US - YOU SEE YOURSELF!

You see `me' as a different & distinct entity separated from the whole - and hence YOU ARE YOURSELF!

But I see within you myself and hence I see `you' and `me' as a part of a whole - an indivisible entity of which we both are parts.

AT 55!

WE ALL KNOW SO MUCH. At least that's what we think. I thought I knew more than anyone else when I was very young. My journey of life has taught me that - the more I learnt THE LESSER I KNEW.

Now that I know that I donot know - THE URGE TO KNOW is slowly dissipating - and this declining urge is my way to nirvana. I can now wryly smile at my `antics' of the past and blissfully look at the dawning future where NOT TO KNOW is knowledge.

QUIT NOW? NEVER!

FACE UPTO IT! Are you not creating extra-ordinary desires in them and then when they see the `dark' future - won't they curse you. Just because you have a dream and just because you think you can create world champions - and just because these children and their PE TEACHERS are easily misled - don't you think you are one of the biggest criminals. Just because you have a dream - does it mean that it would become a reality. Why do you give yourself this cocky confidence and in the process are you not ruining their `middle class' dreams of ORDINARINESS.

When the Government - its qualified officers - having thousands of crores of infrastructure and training programmes is not able to achieve - YOU A BARE ASSED SKINNY `GIDDU' on the wrong side of fifties, think you can achieve - HA HA - don't you think you should quit now - once for all.
N E V E R RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

JOURNEYING ALONE!

Loneliness is so pure an act that its almost akin to being in a `moksha'. One can be lonely even in a crowd and be `crowded' even when one is physically far away from every one. My loneliness stems from my goals - I have no single companion who would traverse along with me. I have companions who travel along short distances or different periods of my life OR maybe I really don't want a companion on this journey which is full of unending struggles - failures - heart breaks. That, in the end, I will prevail, of that I have no doubt. But journey I must, ALONE.

FEAR! MAINTAINING SANITY

Do you know what fear is? Fear is when you ask a 9 year old Deepu to take 20 children of 9-12 years IN HEAVY RAIN down the slippery slopes of Savandurga - when at that same time you are trying to climb up an impossible cliff to bring down two frightened girls. Having lived such a fear can I then fear??

Fear is when you are training rookies for aggressive `fast brake' basketball; one who breaks out in a gallop going for a very fast lay-up is followed by another by just half a step - AND YOU PRAY that one at the back doesn't mistakenly trip the one in the front - or give a friendly shove into the RCC pillar of the shooting post.

Fear is when you look back at your 53 years' of life and wonder how you survived and having survived - been able to maintain your sanity in this chaotic world.

IMPOSSIBLE GOALS!

The path is full of obstacles but then it is the grit of the traveller that will decided the outcome. Persistent efforts - consistent focus - everything will slowly fall in place. Victory is sure - how much to go before it arrives can be the only variable. AND when the traveller is ready to strive till his last breath - how can any goals be impossible to achieve. Rather, only impossible goals suit such travellers for anything less wouldn't satisfy them.

INTROSPECTION - VALUES TO LIVE FOR!

How can I make myself happier? What are the goals that, if achieved, would give a meaning to my life. What could be my self actualization? I, by myself, can be happy in any circumstance. No amount of adversity can take this `zest' of life from me. The zeal, to live, to enjoy what LIVING dishes out - is a primal urge.

However, I can be happier by `righting' whatever wrongs I see specailly among children. Of course, by what yardstick I am to judge and who has given me this right - is a sobering thought.

To set them on their way - maybe act as a beacon for these `youngsters' could be my ultimate aspiration. A justified self obituary could be - HERE LIES a struggling man who lived a simple life - sharing and caring for the child's joys; in pursuit of excellence in everything he did;didn't match enough in his familys' needs but lived and drank the nectar of life in a fast lane.